HeartCry

A support group for mothers of rebellious teens/young adults
Text Box: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Feelings of Grief

    

    

 

 

 

Many parents of rebellious children experience feelings of grief and loss.  Typically, we think of grief in terms of death.   But the five stages of grief, as originally identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, can be the result of a number of different circumstances in our life, such as divorce or the loss of a job.  In the case of a rebellious child, we grieve the loss of the relationship we once had with that child.  We also grieve the hopes and dreams we had for that child’s future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 
Text Box: Stage 1: Shock and Denial Text Box: Stage 2: Anger/Resentment Text Box: Stage 3: Bargaining Text Box: Stage 4: Depression Text Box: Stage 5: Acceptance

We grieved the loss of our relationship with our child and the expectations we had for our child’s future.

                                       Step 3

                                                From the HeartCry 12-step program

You can’t believe your child is behaving this way.  It doesn’t seems real.  You ignore the change in your child’s behavior or friends. You reason that maybe there has been a misunderstanding or that this was just a one-time event for your child.

You feel anger towards God—it’s not fair that this is happening to you.  You may be angry at your child for what they have done.  You may be angry at your spouse, feeling they may have caused the problem.  You may even feel angry towards other parents whose children are doing well.

You may bargain with God, promising to become a better person in hopes that God will help turn around your child’s life.  You may try bargaining with your child, offering to do him or her a favor if they will only change their behavior.

This is a time of sadness, helplessness and hopelessness.  You realize the situation is not going to easily change—you are in it for the long haul.  It's the beginning of accepting reality. 

When you reach this stage, you may  still feel sad but your situation does not keep you from functioning normally most of the time.  You can begin to move forward and focus again on your spouse, your other children and your daily routine.

The Five Stages of Grief